currrrl.

(no subject)



my halloween costume!
haha, don't mind the caption,
that was for my friend.

chris is getting this one:


yayy. prince charming & snow white! (:
i love ittt.

currrrl.

"if he's had you smiling since day one, don't ever lose him."

so we locked ourselves in your car. got lost in each other's eyes. we sang to the radio. he whispered in her ear & she'd laugh at his silly jokes, even if they were pointless. he'd grab her hand & not let go. he had no idea how happy it made her. she'd rest her head on his shoulder, close her eyes, listen to their song while he kissed her forehead. she memorized the touch of his lips. she didn't want to leave anytime soon. & he'd give her his jacket when she told him she was cold. it would be 3 in the morning, but they'd still be tangled in each other. she knew he was something special. it was different how he moved her because when he told her 'goodnight', to her it still felt like 'hello.'

i love him so much.


currrrl.

(no subject)

i feel like i just got hit by a truck. and i mean, the cause explains why i was so damn emotional the past two days, but nonetheless, i feel like my kneecaps are about to fall off. last night i worked from 6 to 9:45, it was alot of fun. it's fun being the only girl there. after work i went to see click again with sandra, then we had a romantic 2am dinner at the majestic. today i was planning on going to the beach but considering i feel like absolute shit, i'm gonna relax a little. i'm going to the movies with some people from work around 3, that should be fun. i'm seeing that you, me, and dupree movie. it was a big joke because the preview plays in our store inbetween every song so i vowed to never see it but i guess i am. and then after, i get to see my baby! i'm so excited. so so excited.

edit: stephven got me a ticket to beatstock for graduation! i'm so psyched. i love my friendss. :)

i love you sweetheart.
'i'll be right here waiting for you...'

currrrl.

(no subject)

day three: i gave in. i cried today. it didn't feel good at all, but i was watching a lovey movie and it just kicked in. i hope this doesn't last long, but i guess i'll just have to get used to it. there's no easy way out. all i want is you.

currrrl.

when you hold my hand, i'm free.


i'm terrified. i really never pictured myself as being 'scared of the future' like people always say, but i guess it's been hitting me like a ton of bricks lately and i failed to listen. of course, it's not really affecting me directly, but through chris i'm once again given an insight into what it is to grow up. he started yesterday at nypd police academy. i mean, for spending every minute of every day for the past year together, i've been dealing with not conversing or seeing one another as much fine. i'm just scared, and i really don't know what of exactly. i'm not scared that he's going to 'fall out of love with me,' because i know that's damn near impossible. i'm not scared that he's going to break up with me. i guess i'm just scared of change. i'm sad that i don't get to see him as much. i don't even mean this because he's my boyfriend. chris has been my best friend for the past year, he has been more of a best friend than people i have known my entire life. i've never passed this much trust onto another human being because i understand most could not handle that sort-of responsibility. how can i go from spending everyday with this amazing person to seeing them for a few hours once a week? i mean, as of now things are okay. i feel selfish however. i feel sad on my behalf, but please, what about him? he is tired and needs rest. i've seen him lately and how tired he is. i'm worried that, as predicted by others who have had people close to them go through the academy, the work will drain my boyfriend and change him. i know he's obviously going to change, be angry, be sad, and be hurt. i know all of this is inevitable, but i'm scared for those days. i don't want to lose this amazing person, not physically, but the person he is inside. i'm worried that this will slowly fade with the overwhelming things that are to come.

i love you, christopher john.
you brought me to life.
i wish you luck for the next 6 months,
i'll be here whenever you need me.<3

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survey.Collapse )

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ps, i feel better about the whole chris thing now.

currrrl.

(no subject)

Oct 25, 2005 4:08 PM

I always thought that finding the perfect someone was a joke..it was impossible cuz there is no one out there thats perfect. there's always some things you like about someone and some things you dont or you think you found the perfect girl and then you find one thing wrong that turns out to be the thing that tears you apart. Everyone has their flaws and people fight over dumb shit all the time that half the time you wonder why they're even together and i figured shit thats just the way things are and i'll just have to deal with it like everyone else where its good for a little while and sucks for the rest of the time...and then i met you and and was forced to change my outlook. no matter how hard i resisted and told myself that " nah this can't be happening, its too good to be true..something's gotta give" I couldnt help but change...cuz from the very first moment that we kissed and i looked into your eyes as i pulled away slowly, time seemed to just stop completely and i knew from then on that i had found the perfect girl and that i had to make you mine because i knew that if i passed you up i would regret it forever. You have no flaws, you're perfect in every way physically, emotionally, and mentally..You have all the good qualities and none of the bad...you're beautiful with a sexy body, you're funny and goof around but know when to be serious, you're smart all the time but have your moments ;) and best of all you're caring, sensitive and you know how to love me...thats all i need...i love you jenny bean

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Nov 1, 2005 6:03 PM

ok so i just woke up from a dream i had of us and its 12:52am...The dream was pretty much a flashback to when we first met...and i woke up remembering the first couple of nights we hung out together. I remember feeling like a little kid again not knowing what to do. I remember how shy you were and how nervous i was, i remember not knowing what to talk to talk about or wondering if i was talking too much or not enough, i remember wondering whether or not i should hold your hand or wrap my arms around you to keep you warm, worrying about what you thought of me. I remember being afraid to get close to you or wondering whether or not i should let myself open up to you...and through all tension and uneasiness, i felt remarkably comfortable with you...I loved being around you and couldnt wait till i got the phone call telling me we were hangin out that night..every night i'd ask steve if he spoke to you and if you said anything about me but promised myself i would not let myself get caught up in you...until that night on the beach when we were standing in the water looking up at the stars and out over the ocean and i turned to you, looked into your eyes, took a deep breath, and leaned in for the kiss...from the moment i felt your lips to the moment when we parted and i looked into your eyes and saw you smile, i knew i wanted to be with you and when you hugged and wrapped around me your body felt so good against mine and i knew then and there that i had to make you mine...since that day i have no regrets and could not be more happier with you...I love you

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Nov 23, 2005 7:44 PM

of course i'm gonna make you feel better baby thats what i do...i just dont want you to worry about people on the outside..nobody is taking me away from you and nobody is taking you away from me...i love you and only you and i only want you and anybody else who tries to walk into the picture is gonna get their ass kicked out because no one is getting in the way of me and you, nobody from the past, no one now and no one is going to...as long as i got you nothing else matters

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things like that remind me of why i have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. i love you so much, poop. :]

currrrl.

you blessed me with your love.

i'm so damn lucky. after almost an entire year of dating someone, and he still loves me for me. he loves me for being myself, and not any other stupid bullshit that comes along with the title of girlfriend. i hope someone strikes me the next time i forget this, but he is the best thing that could've happened to me. he has helped me to grow, and his love will continue to clear my head for the important things that i truly need in life, as opposed to all of the confusing junk that used to lie around. thank you so much, baby.

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